Write Anything: Fiction Friday Post

writeanythingclipFiction Friday Challenge

I've been out of the circuit for a little while due to how busy I've been, but I'm going to try to get back into it. Here's the Fiction Friday challenge for May 1st:

A secondary character says this somewhere in your story; “He’s the cutest little boy. Makes it that much sadder, doesn’t it?”

My Post

Matthew hid behind the garbage bin, his heart racing, as he tried to keep his breathing deep but silent. I can’t let them find me!

Though a tender age of ten, Matthew knew he was smarter than the other boys his age. They all followed the rules. They all did what the Prefects told them to do…and even then, some of the boys in the Detention Home disappeared.

“Following the rules doesn’t necessarily keep you alive anymore,” he heard one of the Prefects buy clomid online yahoo answers whisper to his comrade.

Matthew found that out all too well when his best friend was brought into the Black Building for a “correction session”. He never saw David again.

Now Matthew was next.

“He’s the cutest little boy,” his caretaker said about Matthew to Prefect of his detention unit. “Makes it that much sadder, doesn’t it?”

Matthew’s time had come. He couldn’t stay anymore unless he wanted to disappear into the Black Building. The blaring sirens startled him, but, thankfully, they now made more noise than his hyperventilating. Taking a deep breath, he said a silent prayer to the Light Children in the sky and set off to make his escape.

———————————–

Oops! 5 minutes are up!!! Sorry! Wish Matthew good luck! If you enjoyed this post, please CLICK TO TWEET and/or SHARE ON FACEBOOK.

Thank you!

Arial 😉

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27 Responses to Write Anything: Fiction Friday Post

  1. April Hayman says:

    I think you may have to write a bit more about Matthew! As openings go, it was quite good. Why doesn’t being good keep you alive anymore? Who would want to kill a ten year old? And why is he in a Detention Home in the first place?

    Now I really am wanting to know more! lol Thanks for stopping by my blog!

    • Arial says:

      LOL…I’ve had comments like that before on previous posts. Because of all the stories I’m working on at the moment, I don’t have much time to develop these into tales of their own. This is all I know about Matthew myself. Hee Hee!! Thanks for the comments! 😉

  2. vanessa says:

    I really do hope you get time in the future to work more on this.

    Looking forward to reading more of you in the future. And thank you for stopping by my blog.

  3. almckillop says:

    Hi Arial. Like April, it left me wanting to know more too- which is a good thing, shows the character and story are interesting. Tough format to answer all the questions in 5 mins, but these are the kind of nuggets you can store away and come back to one day when you have time. I think it is very true that a 10 year old has just as much survival instinct as an adult, which you bring out well. Liked it a lot.

    Cheers

    Al

  4. Annie says:

    This was compelling. Your use of language drew the reader in.. my heart is still racing. Looking forward to more updates on the little fella
    thanks for dropping by the other day…
    http://annieevett.blogspot.com/2009/05/beginning.html

  5. William says:

    I enjoyed the excerpt. Keep up the writing … what happens next?

  6. Tiffany says:

    I really enjoyed reading what you have so far. And like everyone else, I want to know what becomes of Matthew,

  7. Paul says:

    Very taught, very tense, very very good! Never mind “being good doesn’t necessarily keep you alive anymore” – I like the dark and twisted idea that in a children’s home of some sort you required to follow the rules in order to stay alive – and now obviously some sort of acceleration of a dark plan, or change of circumstances.

    I’d definitely want to read more.

    • Arial says:

      You nailed it, Paul! That’s exactly what I was trying for. The cliches came out first, so I thought I would try to move in the opposite direction for a little flavour.

      Thanks!!
      Arial 😉

  8. Michelle McFall says:

    Mathews, Caretaker said he was the Cutest Little Boy it makes it that much Sadder. What happens? I need to know more

    • Arial Burnz says:

      Awww! I’m sorry, Michelle! I actually didn’t do anymore of the story. But since the little bit I provided makes you want to know more, I’ve done my job as an author in making you care about our little friend right away. Perhaps I will explore his story more at a later date. Right now I’m finishing up the edits for Book 5 of my Bonded By Blood Vampire Chronicles and I’ve already started working on a romantic suspense series called the “Woodward Hill Mysteries” set in a fictional resort town just north of Malibu, California. I’ll keep everyone posted on the progress once I have more news.

      Thanks for stopping by my website and letting me know you enjoyed what you read! Mwah!

      • Michelle McFall says:

        Can’t wait for you’re new book you are a great Author mwah

        • Arial Burnz says:

          OMG I think I’m going to wrap you up and take you home!! LOL Thank you soooo much!! Comments like yours keep me motivated to keep writing. Thank you, hun!!! Mwah!

          • Michelle McFall says:

            I thought for sure I was going to [do] some writing about 17 years ago but, I was told that nobody would buy my books, so I gave up. [B]esides, writing suites you. I don’t think it would have succeeded for me.

        • Arial Burnz says:

          Well, I will tell you, writing is no walk in the park. LOL However, if you’re still writing down stories and you have been since you were a little kid, that’s probably a really good sign you have the writing bug. Check out my writers blog to read some tips and suggestions about self-publishing and I also list a LOT of books to read that will help you with writing and selling your books. Here’s the link: http://arialburnz.blogspot.com/

          If writing is a dream of yours, don’t let ANYONE tell you it won’t work or you can’t do it. Who are they to say you can’t pursue your dreams???

          Good luck!

  9. Rebecca Spitler says:

    Really enjoyed reading this. I have a feeling that this is going to be a great story someday. 🙂

    • Arial Burnz says:

      Thank you, Rebecca!! I don’t have any plans for a story right now, but I agree! I’m sure I’ll revisit this little gem at a later date. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. 😀

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